Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Time To Loosen My Grip

Every time I spend time with my children I become a selfish brat. I know deep down in my heart the way that it works. Here is what the Bible says:

“Don't you see that children are GOD's best gift? The fruit of the womb, his generous legacy? Like a warrior's fistful of arrows are the children of a vigorous youth. Oh, how blessed are you parents, with your quivers full of children! Your enemies don't stand a chance against you; you'll sweep them right off your doorstep.” Psalm 127:3-5 (The Message)

So my head tells me that my children are “on loan” from God. They belong to Him. And I have been entrusted with their care and upbringing for such a brief time until I have to send them on their way. But I don’t want to. My inner untransformed brat wants them all for myself.

Two Sundays ago I spent time on the phone with my son. He is selling for Southwestern Company in Indiana, and is very busy all summer long. Yes, I realize that it is a “Cats in the Cradle” moment. But as I sat in my car listening to him talk, and swapping thoughts with him, I wanted to tighten my grip on him. I love him so much. And I don’t want him to grow up. I want him to stay the little blond boy that would curl up in my lap and sleep while I stroked his hair.

And what can I say about my daughter? She is my pride and joy, and a gift from above that I have never been worthy to receive. I spent the day with her last Sunday and can’t even begin to verbalize just how much I love her. We ate pitas and ice cream, walked around the square in Denton, and spent some serious father/daughter bonding time. What I wouldn’t give to have her five year old little hand holding mine as we walked. What price I wouldn’t pay to hear her little voice talk as her tiny feet patted the sidewalk and strived to keep up. I wanted to defiantly clutch her amazing life in my white knuckles, and yell at God that I wasn’t going to let go. “She is mine! All Mine!”

But the truth is that neither of those children has ever been mine. And the fact that our Lord allowed me to be exposed to them for as long as He did shows nothing but the generous and merciful character of God.

”Every good gift and every perfect gift comes down from above, from the Father of lights, with whom is no variation nor shadow of turning.” James 1:17 (Darby Translation)

So I thank my Maker for all the goodness He has so generously bestowed upon me. And I release my grasp so my children can be free of my selfish parental whims. I can finally derive pleasure watching them rise up to fulfill the amazing destinies that are already beginning to manifest for them in the world.

Thanks God for loaning me those two. Please keep your loving hand upon them. And give them their own children that were as much of a joy to parent as those two were to me.

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