Friday, October 30, 2009

The Forsaken Blog!

I noticed today that I haven't posted on this blog for almost four months. While toggling between my ludicrous Facebook addiction and my inane Tumblr page, this little gem has been completely forsaken. But fear not. I shall start putting my spiritual musings back up here next week.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Sailing Away From My Latest Addiction

There is a reason that this blog has become fallow lately. I left for a while to pursue the latest worldwide addiction: Facebook. I guess the fog lifted today after I got into a heated debate with a Christian friend of mine about something I posted on Facebook. And I really wish I hadn’t done that (both posted and defended my post). Sometimes the words on a page do not do a very good job of translating to the exact sentiment bouncing around in my head.

So what is it about Facebook anyway that makes it so much of an international cultural phenomenon? I guess it is a manifestation of our deep seated need to connect with others. But isn't that the real beauty of this particular deception? Do we REALLY connect by Internet anyway? I know there are emotional affairs and sexual fantasy trysts that take place behind a computer screen. But does any of this really take the place of sipping lattes at Starbucks taking turns exchanging thoughts or laughing around a full dinner table passing canned vegetables and dry meat loaf? Not really. It is the insecure coward’s way of connecting without the risk of true intimacy or painful refection. And I am such a man. I need to back away and stop the obsession of "who updated their status within the last four hours". My wife says that I can’t delete any friends. I have to stay friends with them on Facebook forever. So instead of bucking social networking protocol, I’ll just quietly slip out the back door and get back to this abandoned house.

God has been showing me lots of cool stuff in the Bible anyway; and I need to get back to putting it down here. I’ll start tomorrow by talking about whom Bathsheba’s grandfather was, and why that affair had ramifications far beyond what the casual Bible reader thinks about it. I’m in Exodus and it’s rocking my world. Then I need to talk about adultery, shooting people that deserve it, stealing from employers, Christian Gnostics, and all the stuff lately that has been draining my tank on a daily basis.

And then there is my pride and joy…my little girl...whom I have to hand off to another man soon; and the deep sadness that I have been pushing down every time I think about that. God, how I love her! I'm not sure what that is all about. So I really have no clue about how to handle what is springing up from the depths of my soul. I feel like such a failure as a father. She says otherwise. And this would be a great time for the truth to be known and have it set me free. Actually I need to be set free from lots of confines and restraints. But that is for another blog post. Time to pull some weeds and trim the hedges.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

It's Just Love And Miracles Out Of Nowhere

I had an interesting memory hit me today. I wondered when it was that love started breaking through into my life. Here’s why I started thinking about it. I was sitting in Denny’s last Saturday morning with a men’s group from my church. There was a lady who was a third generation Curandera who would come every time we met just to talk about how she was a “soul collector”. You know the old saying from 12 steps: if you got it, you can spot it. I spotted her a mile off. She would sit and tell us how much she appreciated the “gift” that her mother gave her, sent down from her grandmother: the ability to distribute spirits to others. I won’t bore you with the details of our numerous conversations.

I asked her if she was finally ready to renounce Santeria and give her life to Jesus. She was. But before she prayed with me, she would go back to her booth, hang her head, and cry. I knew then that love was breaking through. I led her to the Lord that day in a Denny’s restaurant on Central Expressway in Dallas.

I started thinking about when His love began breaking through in my life. Long before I was saved, I used to ride around in a car selling cemetery property with my father-in-law, who was a Messianic Jew. He played cassettes from a group named Lamb that was filed with some extremely anointed music. I hated it, but I loved it all at the same time. That music started seeping through the cracks in the wall around my very hard heart. But those cracks actually had gotten there years before.

I loved the Moog synthesizer in the 70’s. Bands like Emerson, Lake, and Palmer had my ear. And when Kansas came out with “Leftoverture”, that was the first punch against my wall. This band was a rock band with less than subliminal Christian overtones. And though my ears wanted loud synth at ear splitting levels, my soul wanted truth, hope, and love. And it got it from this album; and especially this song. Here it is. Imagine owning this on both vinyl and Eight Track tape.

So I thought I’d post simply to chronicle what happened in my blue jean bell bottomed tie dyed life back in the 70s. I wasn’t saved until after I slid deep into a sin dysfunction that guaranteed only God Himself could pull me out. And that was on March 7, 1981. That night the harvest came in. But the seeds were sown years before. That is another story for another blog post. Thanks Kansas and Lamb!